Think of Happy Thoughts to Make You Fly

Today there is no "trauma attack!"

I survived my whole day shift with every passing hour thanking God for a successful feat against myself and the demons of yesterday. I thought I'm not going to make it but He is so powerful to give me my peace and courage to keep on going. My prayers is to continue my healing physically, emotionally and mentally and soon be new as if I did not encounter anything like this.

Last week, was one of my longest week. I'm on the lookout to end the day and go to a deep slumber where I find peace and tranquility. During the weekend I was able to recharge my tired spirit and worn out self. We went to the church and I felt spiritually healed. For in every step of the way God is with me. I'm thinking now, whenever I feel the pit, "what would Jesus THINK" given this situation? And from that question I am able to derive what to feel and what to act. Also, I'm able to unwind and watch a movie to relax, walked by the bay and had a good feeling that everything will be alright.

My progress is slow but I'm taking my time. I know soon this will be over.

I am thankful to J for standing beside me in this crises, to my family especially to my sister Ven and Auntie Bing for encouraging me, to my friends at work for always helping me when things go low.

And today, I prayed to the Lord to give me a strong heart and feed me with only happy thoughts. Over the weekend I was able to fill my happy thoughts bucket that I had so much to grab whenever I need one today. Still, prayer is my strongest weapon and a quote from Napoleon Hill.

I wrote them at the back of an invite and have it placed in front of me as constant reminder that nothing and no one is greater than my God.

And as my reward... I had doughnuts!

God is good. All the time!

Let God take care of the rest...

Life lessons do come our way in sometimes most inconvenient way. We thought we are capable of handling until it struck us right in the middle where you are not in control of anything. Even the slight tremble of your fingers or the conscious effort to focus your thoughts on good things are totally out of control. You are helpless and all you can do is Trust and Pray that soon everything will be okey.

Yesterday, it happened to me. I was placed in a situation that is all new to me. I felt so defeated and suddenly all bad memories and regrets of my dreaded December accident flashed back. Just like that and it hit me like a storm. 

I am not strong. I am weak and full of insecurities. I felt jaded and so disoriented.

I had panic attack. I don't know the right medical term to call what I went through yesterday. But it was grueling, tiresome and I had no control while I was under its spell. It was triggered when I saw a photo of an accident where a collegiate player abroad broke his leg. Yes. That very strong bone-broke like a branch of a tree. 

I don't know what really hit me, was it really just picture and the agonizing idea of what happened to him or it is just a precursor of what really lies in me subconsciously. That all this time I am just at the eye of the storm, anytime ready to blow away? I would rather take the first than the latter. But then again, maybe I am wrong- I am really not strong and I have not get over the fact that the accident was all my fault. There are a lot of 'what ifs and if only' that is going through my mind now.

First step, I have to forgive myself. 

What's done is done. Move on. Get over it. 

What happened is the result of my action- I have to learn from it and be a better person now. I can't turn back the time all I can do now is to move on and repair what has been broken- physically and emotionally. I have to be strong. I need to be strong for myself. This can't bring me down. You can do this Ailynette.

There are a lot of people who believe in me my family and friends. I need to be strong and I need to work on this phase of my life. It shouldn't be that every time I remember or I'll see anything close to it I will just break down. I have to get hold of my emotions and work on my EQ.

But how?

Some things are easier said than done.

A lot of people will tell me their "expertise" on the subject but they don't know anything of what I'm going through right now. And it can't go on like this. I need to cope to it.

Should I seek medical advice? Or maybe I just need a vacation? 

I will go for a vacation. Maybe what I need is a happy experience to suppress the bad ones.

God, 

Please be my guide. Be my doctor. Send me peace and serenity. Heal me Lord, physically, emotionally and mentally. I am not strong. Be the rock under my feet so no one and nothing can shake me. I pray this with all humility and scared heart right now. I really want to have peace of mind- no more fears and tears. Heal Me Lord. Amen.

Christ is Risen!

Last day of the month. Thank you Lord for another productive March.
***
I am not worthy to be saved but you gave Your life for me.
Thank you for carrying my cross and dying for my sins.

You made the way clear and prepared Your Kingdom for me.

I am your daughter forever in awe and will always be grateful.

I'm sorry for my shortcomings.

I am short tempered.

My prayer Lord is for you to send me a patient and loving heart.

Bless and guide me to flourish and be successful in everything I do.

I will walk in faith knowing that You are with me in every step of the way.

Thank you Lord for everything.

Thank you for saving me.

I am not your perfect daughter, help me to be one.

Thank you.

In Jesus name, amen.

***

How I wish I have learned proper saving and investing long long time ago. So many wasted years. I'm praying that in today's young generation as early as high school there will be a subject focusing only on how to properly use hard earned money. 

I am happy I have started saving and investing.

I pray to the Lord to give me a strong and disciplined heart to continue this long term investment.

It has always been my dream to grow old healthy and wealthy. I want MY next generation to live a good life. A life that honors God and the freedom to go for their dreams without any monetary limitations. I want to be of help and not a burden to anyone when I get old. 

A dream that I am starting to build now. 

This is for myself and my family.

***

I'm eager to learn anything about stock market and life. How to have a perfect balance on getting rich financially, emotionally and spiritually. I searched for books, forums, online videos, articles concerning my topic and still this area is vast. Humongous if I may say. Sometimes I get frustrated for I cannot understand the language they speak but at the same time I get fascinated with all the changing numbers and color codes. I'm thankful I joined Bo Sanchez' Truly Rich Club. Slowly I'm learning the basics. Thank you Lord for they speak stocks in English! The price I pay every month for the club is worth for the knowledge I get every day. There are so much to study and learn and I don't want to stop now. Help me God. I really want to be successful on this one. I want my passive income to grow. I want this bad so send me all the resources I need and give me the wisdom to understand and the courage to continue. As I go with my journey to financial freedom help me too in my walk to strengthen my spiritual life Lord. 

***

As I continue my quest for that dreaded December 2012 accident.

I'm still not fully recovered.

I sent my panoramic xray to a maxillo facial dentist- and he said I have a fracture in my right tempo mandibular joint. This will cause a surgery. It has to be fixed. But my faith is strong I know I will be healed. God will going to send all the resources that I will be needing. 

I am asking Him boldly to align and fix my TMJ. As good as new. Balance and perfectly aligned.

I will be having another round of 3D CT Scan next week I know everything will be just fine. Perfectly fine. So all I need to secure and take care of is the alignment of my teeth that were also affected by the accident.

Lord, send me all that I need. How much? I am not sure yet, but I will let you know as soon as I get the exact figure. Send me a perfect team to help me in this situation. I need someone who will give me strong support system. It gets me down knowing that I do not look just fine. Talking to you makes me feel better. However, still send me a carefully well-chosen team to make me well again-actually even better. =) 

I lift all my worries to You, thank you for always taking away my worries and burdens.

I have the tendency to over analyze and think of the worst- help me get rid of that.

I ask a lot I guess. I hope it's okey.

Because I feel better when talking to You. And express things better when I'm writing to You.

I pray this special request Lord. In all honesty and humility I want you to heal me and make me look better. Thank You, Amen.

***

At work Lord, we need to downsize and remove/ transfer some of our agents and team leaders to another department or account wherever there is available. I've said to myself that if ever it will be me so will be transferred I am ready. I have to be ready and thrive. Because this is still me. Going somewhere else will not diminish the skills you gave me. Indeed, I will put them more to practice to be better. 

But I was asked to stay and still work with the group. Maybe I am doing something right and my mission is still not over. Lead me Lord and help me become better leader. Someone who gains trust, support and love from my people. Give me the knowledge and perseverance everyday to fulfill my job and to give more than what is required for it is another way of honoring you.

Lord, as a leader, my happiest moment is when I see my people earn more and grow and get promoted. Lord, help me build more people to reach their potentials.

But actually, going back to the downsizing, it was also a secret prayer (haha! nothing is secret to You) that they retain me. I can't add another stress Lord. I am not sure if I will undergo surgery or not or what will be the next processes. I am thankful my little wish is granted. Another answered prayer! Thank you.

***

I have to rest for now. Good night! Thank you for the gift of life, hope and technology!

Amen.

Freedom

Today, I paid my month's credit card bill in full. It feels liberating. Finally, I'm starting to walk the talk.

Financial freedom and control is another goal for 2013.

So help me God.

=)

#tbt

My sedentary life has to stop. I need to jog and do some physical activities again. I guess one of the reasons why I feel dead tired at the end of day's work is my lack of engaging physical activities. I've stopped my weekend jog few months back or is it half a year already? I'm just lucky for a fast metabolism I don't get fat that easy.

I miss the mountains and the joy they bring.

and being with a good company that will back you up and help you reach your goal

that despite the hardship you are rewarded of this beautiful majesty. you will be glad to be young and free.

and yes...the grasses can be as comfortable as your bed.

and the beauty of living a simple life with good friends...

Cheers to a beautiful life.

C'est la vie.

It is not everyday that we are young. Explore.

Throwback Thursday

I'm browsing archive pics from my laptop and they've brought me back to the years that have been. Great things captured in a millisecond shot and funny how people change. We do not know what the future brings or where we will be years from today but one thing I know for sure great things happen everyday.

I am just thinking, is it really better to be nice than to be right? Yes, I know we need to be always nice. How about being right? Should we just shrug things off because it is better to be nice than to be right?

Yesterday, I've watched the championship game of UAAP Women's Volleyball team where DLSU Lady Spikers emerged as champions made me miss my college days. The deadlines, exams, thesis, eye bags, school activities, parties....and that big question and anticipation of what will going to happen to me at the real world?

***
This was taken December of 2012.

And February 3, 2013 at the wedding of my boss.

NOW. NOTICE MY SHOES ! 3 years and counting baby!

LOYALTY.

When things go wrong...pray and do the harlem shake!

title ko kyut!

***

We must really write the things that we want to accomplish short term, long term or just even a to-do things for a day and stick to them no matter what! Because when I am offline I know that I have a lot of things to read and to learn online however whenever I'm already logged in my few minutes of browsing would eat up my whole online time. I have to focus and study more on stock market. Still an alien to me. I still can't get through the system, they still are alien to me. Recently I've joined several groups online to assist me in my learning curve.

Just right now...I made a long pause and watched some cool short videos while eating my late lunch and watching TV...

We can easily get distracted of so many thing.

Focus! Focus! Focus!

***

Lebron James...so funny! I think I can do this Harlem Shake! 

***

At Work.

It's a bit chaotic. You just have to find your own peace and not let the negativity that surrounds you go into your system. It is always best just to work and not to complain. I just observed that young people nowadays think that working in a BPO is a part time job. When they feel things are not working their way most of them would simply choose to resign and go to another center. This saddens me big time, I have nothing against the person nor the act it's just that where is the fighting spirit? Where is tenacity and longevity?  When given too much options we sometimes have the tendency to end up with nothing.

***

I don't have many nor the extravagance to support the cut but I will practice being minimalist. I will cut on unnecessary expenses, leave my credit cards at home, stick to my daily budget, will go to Guadalupe market instead of buying everything from Rob supermarket and pay my credit card bills on time and be debt free in no time.

I need discipline.

Today before going home I swing by at the SM Megamall and went home with a new pair of shoes. I don't feel bad for the new shoes, I think I need them anyway (excuses), I feel bad for not being able to control myself. 

Focus Ailynette! Focus!

Yes, I'm determined to live a minimalist life. Please help me God, give me the strength to control my buying impulse.

***

Summer is officially on!

And what is the best preparation to have a beach body?

Alcapone. My new found favorite. Babalik-balikan! I don't mind the calories. This is heaven. 

Favorite. Na miss kita ng matagal. Salamat nagkita tayo ulit!

***

Thank you Lord for the gift of life.

I seek for your guidance to shower me with patience, help me deal with my temper, and the courage to face each day with a strong and forgiving heart. Let me understand that it is not all about me. Let me become understanding and sensitive to the need of others. I lift up to you everything.

Thank you for all the blessings and for being there for me.

Amen.